08 March 2000

Book Review: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, by John Gray, *****

Man and woman in a Sikh temple

A practical guide for improving communication within relationships, helping both sexes get what they want from love and friendship. The author encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love and helps men and women accept each other's emotional needs.

'A treasure', 'a bible' and 'an heirloom' are some of the words used to describe the book that has saved countless relationships and improved innumerable others. Now repackaged to relate to a new generation of readers, this phenomenal book continues to carry its legacy of understanding and trust into the world.

Since its first publication, over a staggering 15 million copies of MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS have sold globally to single men and women looking for guidance on how to find the perfect partner, married couples seeking to strengthen their bond, and divorcees hoping to fathom where it all went wrong. Gray's insights into how to allow your other half to "pull away" like an elastic band, prevent your emotional baggage from polluting your current relationship, and translate the phrases of the opposite sex are as relevant now as when they were first published.

With straightforward, honest writing from that precious male perspective, Gray unlocks the secrets hidden in your partner's words and actions to enable you both to reach true mutual understanding and a lifetime of love. Discover for yourself why thousands believe that MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS should be mandatory reading for everyone.


This is one of the most important books I have ever read. It succintly puts together the reasons why men (all men) are different from women (all women); why this creates problems of communication in a couple; and what to do about it. I found it fascinating reading and illuminating for its insights. This is a summary table I have written based on the book. I think it summarizes the main thrust of the argument Gray makes and is spelled out  in the video by Paul Dewandre (in French) Les hommes viennent de Mars, les femmes de Vénus.

values competence
values relationship
reasons in sequential mode
can do multi-tasking
wants to resolve a problem alone
wants to talk about a problem
is rational
is emotional
needs trust
needs attention
needs appreciation
needs understanding
is like a dolphin, wants a fish when he gets something done
is like a garden, wants to be mantained every day no matter what

For alternative arguments on the same topic, read my reviews of the books by Cordelia Fine and Allan and Barbara Pease